28 Forever

 

I’ll be 28 forever

Patiently waiting to feel good

My body is still tight

Looking in the mirror…

Looking Deep into my foundations

Pain makes you beautiful

At least that’s what I learned at 23

I wrote this story in a time when

Herstory  was an old religion to the uncivilized

Human citizen

Consisting of Many nights of well deserved pain

Bang

And soft sparks fly

Bang

The singularity

The beginning of I

What is God?

A he or a she?

Don’t you remember?

We create worlds In our minds with soft sighs of wonder

What is God an it or an energy?

Did you hear me girl?

We create worlds In our minds with soft sighs of wonder

I am innocent

I am known as walking redemption

I’m perfecting the art of walking on water

Check my technique

My best friends would call me love if they knew me

But they don’t

My words create Light with shapes in the divine matrix

I take responsibility for my airy seeds

Sacred shapes drift off my tongue

Enticing me to eat my words like cherries

Blackberries and banana pudding the hood kind

The child Divine

I create existence

I know nothing of my power

I know nothing of my relevance

I am unable to defend myself I need help

I need a savior

Hello, world

Hello me

I am my savior…

I create worlds in my mind with soft sighs of wonder

I keep creating worlds

My Tongue has always been too shy to speak

Does everyone talk to God or just me?

Bang

The Singularity

Creative Intelligence

God

Did it get mad or have a great idea

Did it orgasm?

And create Carbon

6 sets of electrons 6 sets of neutrons and 6 six sets of Protons.

Life is the Beast Itself

666 Thats the concrete plan

I’ve slept on worse surfaces

There are creator gods posing as your god The One

Snakes

Jealousy runs deep in the womb of my herstory

Imagine a seed that grew in ideas

false fake made up ideas & in a sea of ideas she grew

Space, vast and wide

bang….

The singularity

Then she wokeup

Are you serious?

Sirius

Dead Serious, The Dogons Tribe says that the Earth is evolving

I believe them

I am her to assist in the galactic shift and so are you but you forgot.

My roots go deep

I am a vortex

A wind a delightful, ambassador from the Yin Dynasty

I revel in the exoticism of it all

I used to hear the thoughts of others on subway trains in New York City

Someone told me “you can never hear the thoughts of another”

How would they know?

But I did, sometimes I still do…

They used to secretly ask me if I could hear their calling….

I couldn’t hear their calling

I couldn’t even hear my own calling

I behaved so badly, so godly, so unruly

I am God & the devil

We each have a calling

How annoying it is to be classified as so many things that I didn’t choose

I’m Black a girl, , daughter, sister, whore, bitch, prostitute, mother, queen, goddess, god, twat whatever

And all without consent…

Labels are a prison for the mind.

Give me free

I’m a self confessed journey…

A saint and a sinner…

I am neither

Only lately… I can see myself…

Enlightened…

I can see myself

I wake up with fire and ice in my chest,

Considering the Zombie reality

I can’t quite it…

I just want to want fuck something and go back to sleep just like the rest of the world

Other days I  dream of Paris

When I’m sleepy  I go back  and find my lover in my mind

My obsession for androgeny

I meditate…

Gaia

I allow your energy to enter me

As I go down… down … down…. Deep into you

Through the mud, and weeds

Through my sorrow, and shame

Rocks and embarrassment

Negative financial gain

Guilt and fear

I hate her the more I get closer to her

She reminds me of my shit I see myself

I  allow my essence to burrow deep into the earth

6 feet… 7…. 12…

Electricity she wakes me and reminds me that I’m not me

She journeys me to my core…

Our core….  I am nothing

Nothing…… NO-THING….

And we merge…….

I draw in healing energy through the bottoms of my feet

I allow the light and the energy of the earth to cleanse me

I allow my ancestors song to vibrate every cell in me

I hear the beating drum and finally understand the rhythm of my heart.

I take control breath out   stress, drama and negativity.

Could it be that I just need a small place a space to apologize to myself?

Back to the beginning

Located at the base of my spine is my root

I am creative intelligence in the flesh

Finding her voice

Grounding, connecting, courageously

Awaken awareness within me

I choose to heal and balance all forces and energies within me

I no longer fear the same God you love.

I choose to awaken wholeness, truth and strength within

I’m curious

Do you understand that you are the only black person in the room entertaining?

You are relevant to the peoples understanding.

I claim to be 28 again perpetuating my own illusion

I choose to be a better version of myself.

Farrah… The Quantum Poet