Personal Reflection on the Self
by Farrah Sharpe
At some point in every human’s life they ask the big question – who am I? Personal identity becomes paramount on the quest of solidifying various aspects of one’s own mind, life and personal identity. The greatest mystery never told is the story of self, the story of I Am, the Great Spirit within. In 21st Century society the self is commonly described as outward views on how we think, relate to and evaluate ourselves in comparison to others. The self in my opinion is an a state of being present, aware, and noticing oneself while at the same time aware, and noticing other things in comparison to the original point of awareness.
C.S. Lewis perfectly describes the true self. “You don’t have a soul, you have a body. You are a soul.” To be aware of oneself is to have a concept of self the self is larger than the body and mind but in present day society, the self is simply concerned with its external presentation and the impressions it makes upon others. The interplay between the self-concept, self-esteem, and self-efficacy and environmental influences provokes an external presentation of the self in a social world that continually demands acceptance, acknowledgment, accommodation, and adaptation (Orth, Trzesniewski, & Robins, 2010).
Self-concept
Although humans seem to know themselves better than they know anything else in their world, self-knowledge is flawed, especially in the personal perspective of behavioral motivations (Myers, 2010). The self concept is influenced by desired roles in which it would like to participate in life. These roles are what I like to call residual self image and are personally created by each individual as they choose to become involved in social circles in which they identify with. The self concept is constantly evolving as it largely based on comparisons to others and experiences of personal successes, failures, judgment from peers and cultural expectations.
In my personal life my most significant self-schemas are those that define me as an artist, and a participating member of the Galactic Council of Light assisting in the global evolution of mankind. I am also a daughter, parent, student, and teacher. Within the next 5 years I see myself as a brilliant and thriving psychologist assisting people in finding personal balance through personal challenge. Today I find that I am an important guide and indispensable friend in many relationships. Honestly this part of myself I shy away from because I feel that people expect me to live up to a certain expectations and I choose not to experience that depth of responsibility at this time in my life. I believe that this denial of service and social purpose stems from a fear of appearing self-righteous, self-serving, and biased in my views.
Self-esteem
Life’s greatest achievements as well as its powerful disappointments contain equal pleasure and experience (Myers, 2010). A person’s self-esteem can build up and it can be broken down and each is a personal choice of retaining or giving away of one’s power. A person’s feeling of self worth, love and consideration for themselves is defined as self-esteem. Personally, I consider my self-esteem slightly above average when contemplating self knowingness, self awareness and knowing who and what I am on the deepest level. My self-esteem has its roots in the cosmos as I understand that I am an individual spark of the Ubiquitous Whole and I Am always connected and in tune with All That Is. I feel that self-esteem is either enriched or diminished by an individual’s personal dialog. Everyone talks to themselves all the time inwardly. I tend to watch and modify my thoughts based on how they make me feel. I use my intuition which I also call my inner GPS system to navigate my reality.
Sometimes my behavior appears as self-serving to others because I base my decisions on an inner understanding of how I create my reality. I choose my dealings and interactions with the world based on my desire to be a better person and I my desire for understanding, accomplishment, love, and compassion combined with my general belief that all things happen for the greater good. This idea has instilled in me the foundation that everything is moving me in the direction of my highest ideals. I have also learned that I am influenced by praise and acclaim, I believe this is the artist in me, it makes me feel good to create a piece of art that allows others to feel good, yet at the same time I am also affected by criticism and admonition.
Self-efficacy
Perceived self-efficacy refers to beliefs in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to management prospective situations (Bandura, 1995). Self-efficacy influences what motivates us and how we think feel and act. Each person has diverse levels of self-efficacy, depending on the motivation and perseverance to meet the challenge. I feel that my sense of self-efficacy is growing with each new understanding I have about myself and how I create reality. Depending on the challenge and the initial desire to achieve the goal, I have noticed that I am able to take on even the loftiest and unreasonable challenges. Failure does have its place in building character and is a great part of human life, instead of quitting when I fail; I see this as another challenge and devise new ways of completing the task. It may take me awhile but eventually all my dreams come true.
Two Social Experiences that affected Personal Development
Art and Meditation Teacher
Sometimes I feel that my friends and family think that my goals are a bit lofty and unreasonable. For instance, I invited them out to dinner 8 years ago and shared with them my decision to no longer produce the local magazine I was owner and editor of and that I would be studying meditation and art because I want to teach both to children in schools all over the world. The major response was that our society isn’t ready for meditation in schools. One by one they left the table. That day I was sad, I even thought that they may have a valid point, maybe I was going crazy, maybe this was a silly idea but things are changing and the way I saw it was now is the time to learn and master the craft, when society is ready, I will ready and a leader in my field. I thought to myself, until then I will continue with my studies and continue being an amazing photographer, what have I got to lose? I will admit that sometimes I find that I even become overwhelmed with the challenges that I present myself with. The older I get, the more I consciously decide to trust the positive aspects of myself and go with the flow. I have learned to trust my intuition, respect my ideas and develop mini plans and challenges for their achievement. Today I teach art & meditation at Toussaint L’Ouverture High School for Social and Justice. If I would have believed that my ideas were crazy as they said, I would have never discovered my joy of teaching and shared the gift of meditation with children who may have not had the opportunity of learning this life changing skill otherwise.
Personal Challenge Coordinator
Another social experience that affected my personal development was The 30 Day Feel Good Detox. Occasionally I do notice areas within myself where I would like my self-esteem to be higher. When I notice these areas of lack, disappointment or embarrassment, I will create a personal challenge that will allow me to defy the laws of my mind and make the new vision I have of myself a reality. Last month I along with 64 other SoulciaLight members participated in a 30 Feel Good Detox which I created out of the new habits that I wanted for myself. I set realistic goals for the group which involved eating, meditation, exercise and cleansing. This personal challenge was created because I just wanted to feel good in my body and mind and as I told others about what I was doing the idea grew. It seems that many others were feeling the same as I was.
Conclusion
Each individual has a personal relationship with the self, the external world and varying social environments. My personal development has been affected significantly by all the challenges, failures and successes in life. My mother loves to hear my stories, she tells me I have lived enough for 3 people in my short time here on Earth. The many good, bad and ugly decisions I’ve made throughout my life have showed me the many dimensions of my character, values, and ethics. All of these foster my world view and ideas of about my ever evolving self.
References
Bandura, A. (1995). Self efficacy in changing societies. Retrieved from http://catdir.loc.gov/catdir/samples/cam034/94049049.pdf
Myers, D. (2010). Social Psychology (10th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.
Orth, U., Trzesniewski, K. H., & Robins, R. W. (2010). Self-esteem development from young adulthood to old age: A cohort-sequential longitudinal study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(4), 645-658. doi: 10.1037/a0018769